The "Eyes" Have it (or not)

When I decided to go back to school to work on my PhD, I worried about a lot of things that I anticipated would be difficult for me. Things like a 90 minute commute, the ability to master the material, the amount of study time required, did I burn too many brain cells in my 20's?

What I didn't imagine was that these were the least of my worries. No, the real challenge was going to school with the eyes of a 40-something. Perhaps nature ensures that we can't see anything close-up in our 40's since we really don't want to be able to see all those 'laugh lines' and 'age spots' that now take up valuable real estate on our faces. Or perhaps it is so it is harder to admire the fact that the hair on our heads is migrating to less desirable parts of our bodies. Whatever it is, trying to read small (or even normal print) with these eyes is a challenge.

My last visit to the eye doctor revealed that my eyes weren't quite bad enough for bifocals. So he suggested picking up a cheap pair of these:

Alas, my eyes aren't quite bad enough to need them, but aren't quite good enough to read without them. So I put them on, I take them off. I put them on, I take them off. I put them on.... you get the picture.

Kilowatt suggested a reading lamp. Because in our house we own a tool for everything, we of course had the perfect one available.

The light works great, but it is really hard to get it adjusted to the right level of magnification. So now I put the glasses on, I take them off. I pull the lamp to me, I push it back. I put my glasses on..... At least I'm getting an upper arm workout:)

This would have been so much easier ten years ago.....

Intolerance

Intolerance: (n) intolerance (unwillingness to recognize and respect differences in opinions or beliefs)

source: http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=intolerance

Wednesday was Diva's first day at school. (Cue Staples commercial "Most Wonderful Day of the Year") As part of first day activities, interested parents sit down to a Q&A session with the school administration. There are 400 students in grades 5-6, and about 25 or 30 parents showed up, myself included.

After the routine questions about H1N1 and cell phone use, one parent expressed concern about "President Obama's speech to schoolchildren." I had not heard anything about this, but I have to confess I was not overly concerned. I'm thinking that it is hard not to have some admiration for someone who rose from relative poverty and a racially mixed background to become president, even though I don't agree 100% with his political views. Isn't that supposed to be what the American dream is all about?

I guess I was wrong. Today I caught the headline over at Yahoo "Parents Angry About Obama Speech." So I decided maybe I should see what these lesson plans that are going to be used to brainwash Diva include. Wow - they want her to listen to a speech and take notes about it. They want kids to develop educational goals for themselves. Really radical stuff. And (gasp) they dare to ask "What does the president want me to do?" and "What would I speak about if I were president?"

Okay, I'll cut the sarcasm now. Will I be likely to agree with everything that is said in this speech? No. I'm sure I won't. Our educational system has lots of problems. I won't pretend to have the answers on how to fix them. I also won't pretend to agree with all the suggestions on how to fix these problems coming from the current president or from the past president, or from the people who would like to have some say in who is the next president.

But I do know that refusing to listen to anyone else's opinion on the issues, looking only for evidence that supports one point of view, and discouraging healthy debate isn't good. And that's what I'm striving to teach Diva. Listen, analyze, and make your own decisions. And part of that decision making process is the ability to understand what it is the person speaking to you wants you to do. You then have to consider what you are told, and decide if it is accurate. This may often involve talking to others with divergent beliefs to see the pros and cons of any point of view. And yes, your peers may often outnumber you in their opinion, and you may sometimes have to be different than your peers with a quiet and calm confidence (aren't we trying to teach our kids this when we want them to abstain from se#, drugs and alcohol?)

EVERY person making a speech is trying to 'sell' you on his or her ideas. We've been teaching Diva to evaluate what people are 'selling' since she was old enough to start asking for things she sees on TV commercials. So I'm not worried about her being brainwashed by this speech. If our school opts to show the speech, we'll talk about it at home. If they opt not to, we'll find it on YouTube, watch it, and talk about it at home. "Stay in school' and 'do your best' and 'aim high' are frequent discussion themes around our house anyway. The speech will provide a teachable moment and as parents we need to take advantage of every one of those moments that presents itself.

I see all this hoopla as a symptom of what is wrong overall with our current direction. Look at most polls about any policy topic in this country (I'm not including opinions about individuals or political parties or elected officials overall) and you'll often see no better than a 60/40 split rather than a hugely dominant majority. We are nearly evenly divided on many important issues. Somewhere there has to be a win/win compromise. Something that satisfies not just what is important to both sides, but also the overall goal to fix the underlying problem without creating new ones. We are a great country with many creative, hard-working people - we can find these solutions - but not if we are all unwilling to let go of our preconceived ideas and idealistic, politically motivated solutions.

Teaching our children NOT to listen to someone just because their political views differ from yours is not the right thing to do. I have no scientific evidence of this, but it seems those same children are more likely grow into adults who get thrown out of town hall meetings because they won't allow anyone else to talk.

I could go on and on, as this politicization and polarization of our country by its so-called leaders really annoys me. I'm not a political person, but I do consider it my civic duty to vote. I rarely speak up about my political views because politics and religion are two topics that are guaranteed to be controversial. But for some reason this situation pushed me over the edge and I just had to comment.

I saw a great bumper sticker the other day, it went something like this:

"when the power of love is greater than the love of power......"

Hmmmmmm.....maybe I'm more idealistic than I realize.

Delay Tactics

Source: www.thefreedictionary.com

pro·cras·ti·nate (pr-krst-nt, pr-)
v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates

{v.intr.} To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.
{v.tr.} To postpone or delay needlessly.

I believe that the fact that I am checking out my favorite blogs, updating my blog, and checking the weather forecast when I have papers to grade (and write) qualifies......

Device of torture

About two years ago our dentist informed us that Diva had a bite problem - meaning she would eventually need braces. Eventually arrived this year.

After taking out a second mortgage on the house and selling everything we own (just kidding, but if we didn't have good insurance yikes!) the orthodontist proceeded to install one of the lovely contraptions - a Herbst Appliance - pictured here:

image: www.braces.com

It started with just the stuff you see under the heavy bar. After that was installed, we had about five days of tears and complaints, and then all was well. I was so happy that it seemed Diva would have no problem with wearing braces.

Oh, but I was a bit premature in my happiness. Last Friday, the final part of the instrument of torture was installed. You know those things that hold up the hatchback in a car? This thing (the solid bar) looks eerily similar to those, just on a slightly smaller scale. Apparently it feels like having one of those in your mouth too. And according to Diva, like the hatchback ran over all your teeth.

I've purchased every possible pain remedy; none have worked. My sweet little girl now wakes me every morning with a growl, a slamming door, and 'this is all your fault.' Her diet consists of milkshakes and pancakes, with an occasional serving of white rice.

I've called the orthodontist several times to ask for advice and encouragement. I'm supposed to convince her to keep this thing on another week, and then all will be better. The alternative is headgear, and believe me I don't see my little angel wearing that for two years!

Oh well, it's off to make a milkshake!

Crazy Cat People

The foster kittens are 8 weeks old today, which means it is time to return them to the shelter so they can find forever homes. This is the fourth litter I've fostered (the first for Diva and Kilowatt) and I have to confess I'm more attached to these than my prior fosters. Maybe it is because Diva and Kilowatt are so attached. At any rate, it looks like two of these kittens are finding a forever home right here with us. If the rest of my family had their way, it would be all five plus Mama Cat.

Anyway, as though providing foster care for cats doesn't prove we are crazy cat people - I think these photos will show evidence of our insanity. About two weeks ago, the kittens outgrew the upstairs bathroom, so it was time to find larger quarters. Although the basement seemed ideal, it had a couple of strikes against it. First, our adult cats are accustomed to their litter boxes being in the basement, and have shown that they won't take kindly to a move. Second, it is dark and damp down there and that might make the kittens sad. So instead, we split our main floor in two parts.

First, a baby gate is in order - but requires some modification as the kittens can climb over it...

Next, we must make sure they won't fall between the posts on the stairs, should they get to that part of the house - amazing what Kilowatt can do with cardboard and cable ties:

Then we had to block the other, odd-sized entrance to the dining area (yep, the kittens ended up on the kitchen/dining room side of the house). After considering a few DIY options, we decided that extra sheetrock and our rolling wine rack made an excellent 'door.'

By now, if you aren't rolling your eyes, it is because you are animal lovers and understand what drives us to go to these extremes. And if you are rolling your eyes, I submit this picture to help you understand:

I'm Back!!!!!

So, did you miss me? I've been on vacation this time, not just too busy to blog. Okay, I was too busy to blog!

We started our adventure here:

We took that photo from here:

Right before we sailed under here:
The Captain told us there was 8 feet clearance under the bridge - I never realized how tiny 8 feet is.

While in transit to our island paradise, we got in a little ice skating. Skating on a moving ship on a postage stamp sized rink adds excitement. So do those funny rental skates. Diva was smart enough to bring her own.

We arrived at our destination with its famous pink sand beaches on a sunny day:

And visited the historic Fort St. Catherine:

Alas, all too soon we had to head back to our awaiting transit:

And now I'm back here in NH, wondering when I'll get to go again....

Shopping madness

Kilowatt's computer quit working in a puff of smoke this week as the video card failed dramatically. It is covered under an extended warranty (I always buy, and use, the extended warranty on computers) so I had to run down to the really big mall to drop it off for repair.

The really big malls are only 40 minutes south, but they have different stores than we do. Generally more unique higher end stores like Godiva and my new favorite, Teavana. And that computer store I won't name, but it kind of follows with the food and beverage theme of the other stores.

I told Diva she could invite a friend to go along and they could do a little preliminary back to school shopping. First, taking two pre-teen females shopping probably wasn't my smartest move ever. Because together, that teen mentality of 'branding' takes over. They must have the 'hot' brands of clothing. I didn't realize how old I was until I stepped into the first store that they assured me was a requirement of preteen fashion.

The loud music and heavy perfume, coupled with pictures of half-naked people on the walls, made it clear that they aren't really selling clothes there. It's kind of the same way that Starbucks isn't really selling just coffee. It is the whole atmosphere thing. It gave me a headache. It also made it obvious this was not a preteen store despite attempts to convince me otherwise. I later found this particular store actually has two locations in the mall, the 2nd one is the preteen one - no half naked people, softer music, same clothes.

We went to the next store - a decided improvement as the loud music wasn't quite so bad (or maybe my hearing wasn't as good by then) and the pictures were of beaches instead of people. I was almost eager to get my gold card out after comparing this store to the prior one. And yes, I do realize they are both owned by the same company. But what's with this darkness thing - I felt like I needed to pull out my cell phone to light my way through the labyrinth that made up this store. And what's with all these separate rooms?

Then came test number 1 - Diva and friend wanted to try on some clothes. I left my trail of breadcrumbs so I could find my way back to the girls, and dutifully went in search of a worker. I searched, and I searched, and I searched. Other than the one behind the cash register, there were none to be found. Ah! Finally, a worker. Is she really old enough to work?

I asked about fitting rooms, and worker grimaces slightly and says "I have to unlock those." She then proceeds to unlock two, plus one for the couple (yes, a male/female couple) that want to go in one together. I really don't want to know.

I then ask about a certain type of sweater that Diva is looking for. Nice eye-roll from worker. Obviously customer service isn't what I'm paying for here either.

The girls make their selections and head to the counter. They have one of those automated credit card machines where you sign the screen. Someone decided to put a bunch of perfume bottles on display on the counter immediately in front of the screen, so that you have to be a tall contortionist to reach over and sign your charge. Anyone under 5' 9" isn't going to reach that keypad. And trying to swipe your own card is a guaranteed perfume spill. What were they thinking?

So let's just say that I understand why retailers are doing so poorly right now, and I'm not convinced it is totally the economy that is sinking them. But next time, I think we'll go virtual shopping. And then wait for UPS to deliver.