You Can Hide, but You Can't Run

Last year, Diva chose the clarinet to play in band. I have to admit that I influenced her choice a bit. I remember back in my band days that I wanted to choose a unique instrument, and because all of my friends picked the flute, I picked the clarinet. Well, actually, I started with the Baritone, but the fact that the instrument was bigger than me led me to change my mind.

So when Diva came home wanting to play the flute, I pointed out all the advantages of the clarinet. And so she brought home a clarinet. As did half of her beginning band class. It seems the clarinet is the most popular instrument because in our band, you have to play clarinet before you can proceed to the saxophone.

Diva did well with the clarinet. However, the orthodontist and his device of torture have created a bit of a problem because she can't play as well with all the hardware. I spoke with the orthodontist and with her band director, and both assure me she will be able to play just fine with a little practice.

Fast forward to today - band practice. Early this morning, I hear the sound of running feet going down the stairs. Why on earth is Diva up so early? I slowly head down the stairs and brew my morning tea. Then I realize - the clarinet is not where we left it last night. That would explain the running feet.

After I found the clarinet (Diva isn't very good at lying, and let's hope it stays that way), I sent her off to school with the reminder that her band director has my email address, so I'll know if she skips today. I'm hoping that after she gets used to playing with the hardware, she'll enjoy band again. I'm hoping that once she is with her friends, she'll enjoy band again. I'm hoping that next Monday morning, I don't have to play hide and seek with a clarinet....

This Can't be Good...

After a long day of classes and a long drive home, I made the final turn toward home.  Sitting a few feet away from my driveway was satellite news truck.  Uh-oh, this isn't usually a good sign.  

The school I live next door to (and my daughter just started attending) was just letting out.  Bus loads of kids were waving as they drove by.  I walked by and noticed the truck was from a Boston station.  We're an hour north of Boston.  Double Uh-oh.  

When Diva and I walked by on our way down, we noticed a man sleeping in truck.  Immediately I start thinking of good reasons why he might be there.  With a hotly contested Senate race, and our status as a purple state, maybe some politician was in town at the local college and this guy thought he found a quiet street to take a nap?  Yeah, right....

Turns out that a former teachers aid (female) was arrested for an inappropriate relationship with a 14 year old (male.)    They communicated via text messages and online chat, so police have plenty of evidence.  The school did a criminal background check before hiring her, but she had no criminal history.  

Now is when I really envy all my homeschooling friends.  It really shouldn't be this scary just to send your child to school.  

Back in the "Real" World

Now that I'm in school I'm actually required to get up, get dressed, and leave my house four days a week.  Over the past four years of mostly working from home, I forgot how good I had it.  

I just completed week 4 of classes, and Diva, who is fortunately (knock on wood here) a very healthy kid, came down with a flu bug on Thursday.  We Mom's know how this one starts:

(Weds. Night)  Diva:  Mom, my throat is scratchy

Me (hopefully):  Maybe you yelled too much at school today?

It invariably continues in a sleep-deprived fog around 4AM:

Diva:  Mom, I'm cold and I can't breathe good.  

Me (unintelligibly):  glubglobglib....  I think that means I'll get you a glass of water and some cough syrup.  

Me:  Oh drat, we don't have any kid's medicine in the house because Diva hasn't been sick in so long.

Then comes the 6AM arm-wrestling match:

Kilowatt:  Do you think she's really sick enough to stay home?  She's never sick.

Me:  What do you have going on at work today?  I have Philosophy class at 10 and Fraud class at 5:30.

Kilowatt:  Do you really think she's sick?

Me:  If I were still working from home, I'd keep her home.  Let me go get the thermometer.  (pause.)  Uh-oh, we're in 'no man's temperature land' 99.5.  That means the school won't officially consider her sick.  But I do since she never has a fever.  

Kilowatt:  I guess I can work from home today.

Me:  I'd better go hit the showers so I can come home between classes.  

Kilowatt:  I'm off to the 24 hour pharmacy to pick up drugs.  

Lucky for us, it appears to be a just a 24-48 hour bug.  I had Friday off so Diva stayed home both days, and is now eager to leave the house where she's been stuck for two days.  

So far, Kilowatt and I are okay.  Now I have to go drink my OJ! 

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I think Jeanne C Riley (country singer) is the one who sang that song... "Kids Say the Darndest Things."  Until you have kids though, I'm not sure you can fully appreciate the truth in this title.  

Diva has shocked me a couple of times.  Unfortunately, it is usually in front of some authority figure.  For example, we recently visited the doctor for her annual physical.  Does anyone else's doctor spend more time quizzing the kids than actually examining them?  Question 1:  do you wear a helmet when riding a bike?  Diva answers yes, I smile.  Question 2:  Do you wear a seatbelt?  Again, yes, right answer!  Question 3:  Do you help Mom & Dad out at home?  Diva says "no."  Follow up question:  Do you set the table (no.)  Follow up #2:  Do you help with your pets? (no.)  Follow up questions 3-10 Do you... (no.)  

So the doctor says "what do you do at home?"  Diva says "I watch TV!"  Doctor gives me evil eye.  I turn very red while thinking about the discussion we'll be having in the car on the way home.  For the record, Diva earns her allowance money by cleaning the litter-boxes, helping hang up clothes, and occasionally setting the table and running the vacuum.  

Then there was last winter.  We went on a lovely cruise with some friends for school vacation week.  We visited Tortola and Samana, where the snorkeling was divine and we saw incredible sea life, including a huge starfish up close and personal.  On the ship, we saw a family of acrobats that were spectacular, and Diva got to talk with the kids in the show.  Plenty of wonderful experiences to remember.

The last day of the cruise, we were laying by the pool in the sun.  A lady sunbathing nearby us undid her bikini top to avoid tan lines.  She was a bit older and heavier than your average bikini wearer.  Anyway, something nearby startled her, and she sat up fast, forgetting about the undone bikini top.  You get the idea....

So, on the first day back at school when the teacher asks each child to share something they did over school vacation, what do you think Diva shared?  I was afraid to answer the phone for weeks after that in case her teacher was calling.  

 And then just this week, while driving her to dance, Diva asks me how much someone working at McDonald's makes.  I tell her an amount, and she says "well I'm gonna get the he-double-hockey-sticks down there and get me a job."  After driving back onto the road, I ask her "what was that?"  She gleefully repeats her statement.  I explain that we don't talk like that (at least no authority figures were with us!)  She says "but that's what I heard on TV."  

That settles it - more chores and less TV!

Ten Years Ago...

Diva hit double digits today.  

If anyone asks me where I was ten years ago, I can recall it in agonizing detail.  Diva was in no hurry to be born and dilly-dallied around for a couple of days.  I can also recall the first meal I had post-childbirth -- I sent Kilowatt out in subzero temperatures for a Dairy Queen Tropical Blizzard.  He didn't dare refuse!

I was a bit late ordering Diva's gifts this year - ordering online Monday afternoon for a Tuesday birthday doesn't work, even if you are willing to pay dearly for expedited shipping.  Especially when one item is on backorder.  I wrapped up catalog pictures of the items this morning -- Diva was not amused.  She said I was 'mean.'  

The only thing saving me from winning the Mommie Dearest award is that we are having a party for her this weekend, and at least one gift should arrive by then.  Plus we're leaving in ten days for a cruise -- how bad a Mom can I be if I'm taking her with me?